Solstice to Solstice - a journey of many transitions

It's been almost exactly a year since I posted a blog.  I'm tempted to wonder where that year went.... but as I pause and reflect, the answers are enough to fill many posts.  It has been a year of inward journey.  After 2 years of exploring the world .... Guatemala, India, Nepal ... I have spent the last one exploring my inner world, growing myself, building fertile soil for my next journey.

There is something powerful about the solstice to mark times of transition.  I left for Guatemala on Winter Solstice, 2009.  I returned to British Columbia exactly six months later, on Summer Solstice.   It is two summer solstices later, and I am again called to reflect on the transitions and what is unfolding before me.

This past year has been one of profound paradox for me.  Developing myself as a professional consultant while simultaneously developing myself as a somatically based yoga teacher.  Playing dressup in  'professional' heels and navigating corporate politics through the week; donning yoga pants, with my raw-vegan potluck contribution to the world of deep emotional connection on the weekends.  And through the process finding my voice of authenticity in both.  Finding the place where I can bring heart and connection into the corporate world, and where I can bring my professional skills into the powerful realm of yoga and connection.

As I move forward this year, I know that my work life will continue to shift into greater alignment - and with each step forward, I am able to see the incredible value of each step I've taken, perhaps most especially the difficult ones.  I am grateful for all the places where I have bumped against the questions of balance, alignment, integrity, and purpose.  Those questions have enabled me to be more present in those moments, and to grow from them.... and to make choices with ever greater clarity.

This week I got to play with another level of balance, as I brought my 'professional' skills into a community I care deeply about, and helped them move forward through an important piece of work - that for them is all about connection.  I see what is possible when I bring all of me together in service work, and I am excited about what is possible.

I don't know yet exactly what this year will look like, but I know it will be yet another layer of balance - of the inner and the outer.  Of bringing my voice to the work that I do, and sharing it.  You can count on more to come.

The journey continues: Getting ready for India

Before I left for Guatemala I was encouraged to journal or blog my 'leading up' process as an integral part of the journey.  I don't think I did a great job of it as I was just too busy flurrying around getting ready.  This time I was sure I would do it differently, having experienced how integral the pre-flight part of the journey is to the process.  Like last year, however, the pre-flight part of the journey has been the craziest time: emotionally volatile, full of hurry-up-and-wait details, logistics and general mayhem.  So here I am, two days prior to departure, starting up my blog again after a hiatus of 3 months of intense journey preparation.

For those who don't know, I'm heading to India in two days.  Delhi to be exact . . . .at least as my starting point / home base.  I will be there, we anticipate, for about 5-6 months, returning in late April or early May.  If all goes well, I'll head back there again sometime between July & September of next year for a second stint, duration as yet undetermined.  Let's see how the first trip goes first.

At this point, the how-I-got-to-this-point background might be helpful for some.  It's all part of the my 'transition summer'.  The part I didn't write about as it was happening, because I was sitting on the hurry-up-and-wait train to yes-it's-for-real. 

After my return from Guatemala, I spent the first few months job-searching like crazy, determined to line myself up with a good, responsible, lucrative J.O.B. aligned with my passion and values, that would enable me to be financially free within two years so that I could be free to make big choices again.  I discovered in late July / early August that universe appeared to have a slightly different agenda for me.  I got a call from the consulting firm I've worked for over the past two years to explore whether I was interested in going to India on their behalf.  Yes, really.  But I didn't want to post it to the world in case it wasn't for real.  Because, in the way of true Indian time (which makes Latin American time look positively prompt), it took a LONG time to get to the for-sure-yes-I'm-going confirmation.  Truthfully, while talks began in late July, I didn't have a ticket in hand until less than a month ago.   And once I was fully confirmed to go, it has been full-tilt forward in preparations ever since.

So, here I am, with a 6-month business Visa, a one-way air-ticket (again) and a huge agenda, headed to one of the most interesting, daunting, exciting, different, countries in the world. An emerging economic world-player with poverty like I've never seen, heritage and culture that is thousands of years old, and a powerful reputation for causing immense digestive discomfort. I'm excited, terrified, curious, confident, humbled, and prepared (I think) to be completely unprepared for the wonder that is India.

As for the 'reason' I'm going . . . .it's an interesting intersection of forces.  I have wanted to go to India, personally, for a number of years, and knew I would eventually.  I never imagined I'd be paid to go though.  How cool is that?  It appears the universe conspired with me to make it happen.  Certainly if you'd told me a year ago that I'd be in India this fall, I'd have said you were nuts.  Most certainly, if anyone had told me 5 years ago that this is what I'd be doing now, I'd have laughed until my gut hurt. 

Of course, along with the metaphysical / personal reasons for going to India, there is what I'm getting paid for while I'm there.  Ostensibly, I am going to help support the launch of a coaching-skills training program for managers.  I will be training trainers and coaches, helping to market the program, and generally supporting the unfolding of this program and the book that goes with it, in the Indian market.  There's probably more to it than that, but as this is a personal blog . . . that's about all the detail that's relevant.  More relevant for me is that this feels like a deep stretch both personally and professionally.  I am being called to step up to the plate and play full-out, using my education (finally some justification for all that money spent!) and my experience.  There is no room to play small.  It's time to pull on my big-girl panties, put on my business suit and go be a professional.

Ok . . . have you had a good giggle at that image?  Good, me too.  Turns out the business suit will be mostly metaphorical, as I will be wearing Saris and Salwar Kameez as my professional clothes - with general consensus that they will be a much better fit for me.  I was told at one point that the reason I was chosen to go was because the team could envision me delivering training in a Sari - who knew how true that would be???

In the mean time, I need to complete my preparations, pack my suitcase and get ready for the adventure of a lifetime.  Tuesday afternoon I  embark on 24 hours in the air, followed by a couple of do-nothing-but-sleep days, some clothes shopping, and I should be ready to start work in India by next Monday. 

As I sit next to my best friend, blogging in a Starbucks in Delta, it's hard for me to even fathom how different life will feel this time next Sunday afternoon.

Getting ready to travel

I was told to journal my pre-trip process, as well as the journey itself. Most of that happened in a little book - but it is worth reflecting some on it here.

I left packing until the last minute. I panicked about what to pack. I left flight-bookings pretty late too, and they cost me a pretty penny. I did, however, get everything done that needed to be done and then some perhaps. I shopped until I dropped - and marveled at how much it cost me just to leave the country - never mind what I might spend once I was gone. I agonized over what to take - and whether I was taking too much, and what I might find I'd forgotten.

I have been laughingly assured by many that, yes - I would pack too much . . . and that was part of the journey. Next time I go traveling I will pack lighter and laugh at how heavy I made the first trip - literally and figuratively speaking.

For those who don´t know - this is my first time ´traveling´. I´ve moved across the country, and then again up to a small island . . . and Goddess knows I flew regularly while studying at Concordia . . . but I´ve never really traveled. . . .with a back-pack, in a foreign country, where I don´t speak the language. So I decided to start small. I booked a one-way ticket to Guatemala, with no plan. I think it´s safe to say my parents, while remarkably supportive, are horrified.

I attempted to reassure them by getting immunizations and travel medical - but I don´t think that quite did it.

Despite the doubts and concerns, mind you, I have received a ton of support - some from very unexpected sources. I have received help moving, help booking my tickets, short and long term places to crash over the last two months, a ton of wisdom, guidance, advice and a lot of love. I have been blessed with support and friendships that I am immensely grateful for. I have been both wished blessings on my journey and had angels sent with me to ensure I return.

Many times I was asked why I was going - at least half of those times, the question was posed by me. I still don´t fully know the answer, though I hope to soon. Or not. I do know that this journey is as much about letting go and trusting the process as it is anything else. I also know that that is the hardest combination in the world, and what has made this such a terrifying journey to embark upon - and what will potentially make it so rewarding. I do know that even as I wondered why I was going, and even as I experienced the longing for home, and the pain of missing my friends before I even left . . . I knew that I had to go. I knew that this was my journey to be on, and that it was time.

And so the journey begins . . . .