The gender divide is still alive and well in India - sometimes it is thought-provoking, sometimes amusing, sometimes frustrating, and sometimes reassuring. (chivalry can be lovely) Whatever the impact ... to say it isn't there would to overlook an important thread in the fabric of society here. Unquestionably, it's changing... the thread is thinner than it was, a little frayed at the edges, but it's still surprisingly strong.
Yesterday, at the 'conclave' I attended on Talent Management for HR Leaders, the opening speaker - the head of a (prestigious?) management school offered some of his experience and perspective on engaging the workplace. Globally, he shared with us, women earn 2/3 of what men do. (Sad, but true!). For organizations, he continued, that means that if it costs a dollar to hire a man for a job and a given level of productivity, it only costs them 66 cents to hire a women for the same thing. So, he concluded, in times of fiscal restraint, recession, or just anytime, you should hire more women, it's a fiscally responsible thing to do. He continued, explaining that meetings were also a great example - women only required a few cups of tea and a single packet of cookies....as they don't eat much. So, women are really affordable to employ. He boasted proudly of the many women professors he has working for him. (at 2/3 what he pays the male professors??)
I actually had to use my hand to bring my chin back up and close my mouth - because I could feel my jaw just flapping. It is a testament to the Indian capacity for grace, dignity, and face saving that the largely femail population of the room did not show any noticeable reaction. At first I thought maybe his comment wasn't considered as outrageous by others, but I checked with my colleagues afterward, and they reassured me that his comments were as unacceptable in India as they would be in Canada. I guess the difference is that in Canada, I can't imagine any man still thinking such comments were ok. (they might THINK the ideas - but they would know that they couldn't say them aloud.)
It led to an interesting conversation with my female colleague here about gender in India. She pointed out that while there is still that clear lack of representation numbers wise in the corporate arena, that there are also many women CEOs - some who have been leading their companies for over 25 years, not to mention that the president of India is a woman. She also explained that really, women are revered in India - because of the spiritual history / nature of the society. Wisdom, knowledge, wealth, change, rebirth - all these are governed by Goddesses - and revered. Mothers are often the final word in their families - even if that word is delivered through father. Just think Kali or Durga as the voice of mother: "I brought you into this world, I can take you back out!"
And that is part of the paradox that is Mother India - because what many of us westerners would call chauvinism, many in this culture might refer to as reverence and respect. A woman's place may be in the home - but that is not because she is lesser than, but rather because that is where she rules. I'm not saying I agree with the perspective ....just that it is one. And as horrified by the idea as many western women might be, there remain many who yearn to to stay home with their children, and just don't see it as a viable option in current western society.
In yet another gender divide experience .... The day before the conclave, my American friend and I went for pedicures. As the nice men, all in matching black with spiffy dress shoes, got our pedicure tubs ready, we looked around and realized that the salon was entirely staffed by men - with the exception of the receptionist, and one young woman doing facial waxing. This is such an interesting phenomenon on SO MANY levels.
Because another feature of the gender divide in India is the no-touch between the genders phenomenon. Men here are physically quite affectionate with each other - much the way women are in the Western world. It's not a sign of homosexuality; as I believe that is quite unacceptable here - at least publicly - indeed, any display of sexuality is quite unacceptable here. So men hold hands with each other, but not with women - even married couples refrain from any public displays of affection. Like many other things - some of this is changing amongst the younger generations....but PDAs are just not part of Indian culture. Men generally just do not touch women in public (they will walk widely around to avoid it).
It also touches on another feature of the great gender divide. Many of the 'menial' or service jobs that typically see female workers in the West, are done by male workers here, because women simply don't have the same access to the job market. There is a socio-class divide here too...because in upper classes young women now go to university and generally function quite equally in society. But in lower classes, where young people leave their villages to go work in the city for someone - it's the boys that go.
My friend here has been quite troubled by her 'maid' - a 14 year old boy that doesn't go to school, because he looks after the house. Where I stay, it is also young men that take care of the house - and it doesn't matter how old they get, they are forever 'boys'. At my last guest house one of the 'boys' was in his 20's and had been married for a year (with his wife living at home with her parents) and the other was over 40 with three kids and a wife - all home in their village, hours away, while he slept on the floor in this guest house in Delhi, taking care of the family and guests. (And the generally accepted assumption is that these 'boys' are grateful for the opportunity to serve.)
So - back to the salon. I had poked my head into another salon at some point that was fully staffed by women, and yet this one was all men. What I've come to understand is that this is a 'higher end' salon - and therefor it is staffed by men. I'm not sure how they reconcile that with the men shall not touch women piece, but Amanda and I concluded that the men there had chosen the work because it is the one way they CAN get some contact with women outside their family. Who knows what the real story is?
Mother India, above all, forces me to examine my assumptions about what I believe, about what is right, what is wrong.....how society 'works', and to acknowledge how western-culture-centric my world view is, and how easy it is to think that view is 'right' - just because it is familiar and comfortable. So, while I often experience the gender divide here as uncomfortable, or even insulting... sometimes it is that very divide that makes me feel safer (I love the women-only car on the Metro), and respected. (I love having doors opened, and things carried for me when they're heavy...)
For the record, the pedicures were awesome, the foot and calf massages divine, and we left happy, pampered, ladies.... with another story to tell in our respective blogs..
Yesterday, at the 'conclave' I attended on Talent Management for HR Leaders, the opening speaker - the head of a (prestigious?) management school offered some of his experience and perspective on engaging the workplace. Globally, he shared with us, women earn 2/3 of what men do. (Sad, but true!). For organizations, he continued, that means that if it costs a dollar to hire a man for a job and a given level of productivity, it only costs them 66 cents to hire a women for the same thing. So, he concluded, in times of fiscal restraint, recession, or just anytime, you should hire more women, it's a fiscally responsible thing to do. He continued, explaining that meetings were also a great example - women only required a few cups of tea and a single packet of cookies....as they don't eat much. So, women are really affordable to employ. He boasted proudly of the many women professors he has working for him. (at 2/3 what he pays the male professors??)
I actually had to use my hand to bring my chin back up and close my mouth - because I could feel my jaw just flapping. It is a testament to the Indian capacity for grace, dignity, and face saving that the largely femail population of the room did not show any noticeable reaction. At first I thought maybe his comment wasn't considered as outrageous by others, but I checked with my colleagues afterward, and they reassured me that his comments were as unacceptable in India as they would be in Canada. I guess the difference is that in Canada, I can't imagine any man still thinking such comments were ok. (they might THINK the ideas - but they would know that they couldn't say them aloud.)
It led to an interesting conversation with my female colleague here about gender in India. She pointed out that while there is still that clear lack of representation numbers wise in the corporate arena, that there are also many women CEOs - some who have been leading their companies for over 25 years, not to mention that the president of India is a woman. She also explained that really, women are revered in India - because of the spiritual history / nature of the society. Wisdom, knowledge, wealth, change, rebirth - all these are governed by Goddesses - and revered. Mothers are often the final word in their families - even if that word is delivered through father. Just think Kali or Durga as the voice of mother: "I brought you into this world, I can take you back out!"
And that is part of the paradox that is Mother India - because what many of us westerners would call chauvinism, many in this culture might refer to as reverence and respect. A woman's place may be in the home - but that is not because she is lesser than, but rather because that is where she rules. I'm not saying I agree with the perspective ....just that it is one. And as horrified by the idea as many western women might be, there remain many who yearn to to stay home with their children, and just don't see it as a viable option in current western society.
In yet another gender divide experience .... The day before the conclave, my American friend and I went for pedicures. As the nice men, all in matching black with spiffy dress shoes, got our pedicure tubs ready, we looked around and realized that the salon was entirely staffed by men - with the exception of the receptionist, and one young woman doing facial waxing. This is such an interesting phenomenon on SO MANY levels.
Because another feature of the gender divide in India is the no-touch between the genders phenomenon. Men here are physically quite affectionate with each other - much the way women are in the Western world. It's not a sign of homosexuality; as I believe that is quite unacceptable here - at least publicly - indeed, any display of sexuality is quite unacceptable here. So men hold hands with each other, but not with women - even married couples refrain from any public displays of affection. Like many other things - some of this is changing amongst the younger generations....but PDAs are just not part of Indian culture. Men generally just do not touch women in public (they will walk widely around to avoid it).
It also touches on another feature of the great gender divide. Many of the 'menial' or service jobs that typically see female workers in the West, are done by male workers here, because women simply don't have the same access to the job market. There is a socio-class divide here too...because in upper classes young women now go to university and generally function quite equally in society. But in lower classes, where young people leave their villages to go work in the city for someone - it's the boys that go.
My friend here has been quite troubled by her 'maid' - a 14 year old boy that doesn't go to school, because he looks after the house. Where I stay, it is also young men that take care of the house - and it doesn't matter how old they get, they are forever 'boys'. At my last guest house one of the 'boys' was in his 20's and had been married for a year (with his wife living at home with her parents) and the other was over 40 with three kids and a wife - all home in their village, hours away, while he slept on the floor in this guest house in Delhi, taking care of the family and guests. (And the generally accepted assumption is that these 'boys' are grateful for the opportunity to serve.)
So - back to the salon. I had poked my head into another salon at some point that was fully staffed by women, and yet this one was all men. What I've come to understand is that this is a 'higher end' salon - and therefor it is staffed by men. I'm not sure how they reconcile that with the men shall not touch women piece, but Amanda and I concluded that the men there had chosen the work because it is the one way they CAN get some contact with women outside their family. Who knows what the real story is?
Mother India, above all, forces me to examine my assumptions about what I believe, about what is right, what is wrong.....how society 'works', and to acknowledge how western-culture-centric my world view is, and how easy it is to think that view is 'right' - just because it is familiar and comfortable. So, while I often experience the gender divide here as uncomfortable, or even insulting... sometimes it is that very divide that makes me feel safer (I love the women-only car on the Metro), and respected. (I love having doors opened, and things carried for me when they're heavy...)
For the record, the pedicures were awesome, the foot and calf massages divine, and we left happy, pampered, ladies.... with another story to tell in our respective blogs..
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