I have been home in Canada for about 2 months, and have been asked many times by many people about my time in India. It is never an easy question to answer, and I am aware that so many of my experiences, thoughts, impressions have gone unrecorded on this journey. I am not sure if it was just because I was (and still am) too busy trying to keep up, or if it was/is because I just feel confounded trying to articulate the experiences.
India was, for me, an experience of constant paradox. By the time I left, I finally felt equipped to really live joyfully there....AND I was SO ready to come home. I couldn't wait to get on the plane. There are things about India that I miss, and things that I don't. There are people that I came to care about deeply - and I miss them for sure. But I'm not in any hurry to go back, and I know that I would never choose again the experience that I had there.
It's so interesting to see the paradox of my experience mirrored in the faces of those who ask me to tell them about it....Sometimes I get the reflection, "Sounds like you really enjoyed that".....sometimes I hear, "sounds like that was a brutal experience". Yes....and yes.
My friend Amanda had her own experience there - and it has left some pretty significant, albeit colorful, scars for her. I know that it has left some for me, and also left me with some new wisdom, skills, and confidence. She wondered in her blog post if I was also afraid to talk about my experience - it hit a chord with me, although I'm still trying to unravel it. I haven't yet sorted through my pictures, and I feel many posts behind in terms of sharing my stories - and although I wouldn't have called it fear.... there is no question I am in resistance about it.
I think that part of it is my need to present a balanced picture, and to ensure that I don't cause anyone to 'lose face' (including Mother India herself). ....Or perhaps it's just my own face I am protecting.
My journey to India was a gift, albeit a challenging one; a profound, transformative, learning journey..... and I am still unpacking it. My intention is to post some retrospectives on some of my experiences....but we'll see how that unfolds. For now, I am back home and trying to figure out what life on the ground here looks like....and how to take the best of all the parts of the world I've been in, and combine them with all the best parts of me to create the next chapter in my journey.
India was, for me, an experience of constant paradox. By the time I left, I finally felt equipped to really live joyfully there....AND I was SO ready to come home. I couldn't wait to get on the plane. There are things about India that I miss, and things that I don't. There are people that I came to care about deeply - and I miss them for sure. But I'm not in any hurry to go back, and I know that I would never choose again the experience that I had there.
It's so interesting to see the paradox of my experience mirrored in the faces of those who ask me to tell them about it....Sometimes I get the reflection, "Sounds like you really enjoyed that".....sometimes I hear, "sounds like that was a brutal experience". Yes....and yes.
My friend Amanda had her own experience there - and it has left some pretty significant, albeit colorful, scars for her. I know that it has left some for me, and also left me with some new wisdom, skills, and confidence. She wondered in her blog post if I was also afraid to talk about my experience - it hit a chord with me, although I'm still trying to unravel it. I haven't yet sorted through my pictures, and I feel many posts behind in terms of sharing my stories - and although I wouldn't have called it fear.... there is no question I am in resistance about it.
I think that part of it is my need to present a balanced picture, and to ensure that I don't cause anyone to 'lose face' (including Mother India herself). ....Or perhaps it's just my own face I am protecting.
My journey to India was a gift, albeit a challenging one; a profound, transformative, learning journey..... and I am still unpacking it. My intention is to post some retrospectives on some of my experiences....but we'll see how that unfolds. For now, I am back home and trying to figure out what life on the ground here looks like....and how to take the best of all the parts of the world I've been in, and combine them with all the best parts of me to create the next chapter in my journey.
