Las Piramides, Moon Course

I am mid-way through the one-month moon course at Las Piramides del Ka, The Pyramids of the Spirit.  It is a spiritual retreat centre, led by a most amazing, beautiful, powerful woman, Chatty and her support team.  The Pyramids are her centre and her calling, and she is the primary teacher.  The office is run by one of her daughters, Paoli, as beautiful as her mother, and a local Mayan woman.  Yoga classes and meditation on weekends are offered by Marcus and Kathy, long-ago graduates and followers of the path.

I´m not sure yet how to describe ´the path´although I think that´s really what we´re learning this week.  The basic schedule remains constant, (7am yoga, 10 am metaphysics and 5pm meditation), but the focus of the classes changes each week. Whatever the focus, each session begins with about 30 minutes sitting meditation.  These periods of stillness and silence have turned out to be my greatest challenge and my greatest teacher . . . though I often wonder if I´m a little bit learning disabled when it comes to understanding the teachings.  :-)

The first week was about understanding the symbolism of the pyramids and all the ´stuff´within them.  As a long-time Pagan, the first week was hardly new material, but it came from a different perspective with a slightly different intention. Yoga and meditation were unquestionably the most challenging part of that week for me.  I reconnected in a deeply uncomfortable and humbling way with how firmly rooted I had become in the computer and the couch during my 2 months in Vancouver, preceding my departure.  My months of hooping, swimming and dancing on Cortes prior to that seem to have been forgotten by my body.  sigh.  Fortunately, in week 3 I am finding far more joy and ease, and far less pain, in both yoga and meditation. 

The second week was about astral traveling and lucid dreaming.  Based in the chakra system and an understanding (and acceptance) of multiple dimensions, it pushed my personal envelope (my inner mystic at war with my inner skeptic).  This week, the third week is about our purpose / mission for this lifetime and is being explored through the Tree of Life and its 7 disciplines, including Tarot, Kabbalah, Astrology and Numerology.  If nothing else, my curiosity this week is in full gear, as I have always been fascinated by these tools.

The last phase of the one-month program is 5 days of silence and fasting, starting next Monday.  I´m both looking forward to it, and nervous about it.  Although my days have been full, in between classes, with visiting healers, exploring the area and scooting across the lake for supplies, it has already been quite an introspective journey.   Sitting meditation continues to be challenging for me, although I have now had enough experiences of true inner quiet and peace that I am motivated to continue.  It will be interesting to see what just under a week of silence brings.

What If?

How often do we torture ourselves with "what if" questions? How often do we look back at a situation and ask "what if I just . . . . (done, said, thought, been . . . different)???"

But what are the bigger "what if" questions?

What if my actions, and the events in my life aren't really who I am?

What if my thoughts aren’t really mine? What if they are a creation of the world I live in? The society values that helped shape me? The parents that brought me up? The experiences I’ve had and the messages I’ve heard and internalized without sufficient filters?

What if I’m not wrong – just because no one agrees with me . . . or What if I’m not right just because everyone does? More profoundly, what if it really doesn’t matter if I’m wrong or right? What if being right isn’t a measure of any part of my worth, including my sanity?

What if truly I am a manifestation of the divine? What if I really do have a message to carry to the world and I have a responsibility to step up to that plate? What if it doesn’t matter whether I do or not – I can still be a whole and worthy and loveable person if I do nothing?

What if I really am special? What if I’m not?

What if . . I am as special as everyone else????

What if my path in this life is to walk alone? What if it’s not? How different does my vision look? How different are my choices?

What if I can’t know what my path is until I accept that I can’t know?

What if the very process of asking the questions is the purpose, the path . . . and here I am on it.